I heard this when I was sitting in the office bus on my way back from work.
(Conversation translated from Tamil)
Woman speaking to someone on the Phone: I just got on to bus. I should reach by 9pm. Dont worry, I will not miss "Kolangal".
"Kolangal" - a tamil word in plural for Kolam, which is a design that is made out of color powder. You could call it Rangoli.
Anyway, Kolangal here refers to a mega-serial/soap that has been running for more years now. Mega-serials/soaps in Tamil Nadu are known for their baseless and dragging storylines, filled with crying daughters, agony aunts and nagging men.
What I was surprised about is the amount of interest that this woman showed in terms of being on time to see some goddamm soap which is so irritating and a total waste of time. We complain of our mom's and grandmom's watching these programmes day in and day out and here we have young women in chennai who are interested in these things. You'd say that this is a one off, I wouldnt quite agree. Chennai women are still like that.
Friday, August 31, 2007
Monday, August 27, 2007
ICICI Credit Cards - Worst Customer Service Ever
ICICI boasts to be the fastest growing bank. What's the point. Their customer service sucks.
When I joined work, I had applied for 2 credit cards. One was Standard Chartered and the other one was ICICI. ICICI went over the board and even promised to give a photo card. Standard Chartered did not do all that. They just promised a simple and value creating card. And they lived up to that. The card reached me in less than 2 weeks of my application - without much hassle. No too many phone calls asking for this photocopy and that verfication. In fact, I had provided the least amount of documentation to these guys and their service was excellent.
Coming to the Indian outfit - ICICI. I applied to the card and from then on, there was no response. After about 15 days of application, I tried calling them. Firt thing I find out - one of the guys who collected my application form has resigned and the other has no connection with the Credit Card team. So, they still havent filed my applciation. No action has been done for 15 days. I sent out a stinker to their manager and then things get in progress. Their executive calls me frantically and then asks for some details, along with proofs. With reluctance, I gave them the documents they asked for. Then is another period of silence. No action for 10 days and then I get a call from a representative, telling me that the application has been filed and it would take 45 days for whole process to get over.
I thought - What the F*** is going on? It takes a bank 10 days to generate a credit card application number and another 45 days to send that card to me! Totally insane.
Who is that Senior Vice President who made such horrible Service Level Agreements? 30 days to verify a person's details and 15 days to generate a credit card number and mail it across to the applicant. I havent seen this happen with any other bank I have ever dealt with.
ICICI boasts that they have 7,000,000 credit card customers and they are still growing. Whats the point.
When Citibank was here, they told us that they dont want to be a JUST ANOTHER BANK. Now I can totally understand that. For Citi, they dont want to service any tom, dick and harry in India. They want to service only premium customers. So they are not even bothered if their customer base doesnt grow at even half the rate at which ICICIs grows. But ICICI wants to just spread like fire and do nothing. They dont want to keep the set of customers who would never default on their card payment, rather they are more worried about getting their sales target.
Well, this is my experience. Maybe you got your card faster. ICICIs poor service level extends to their ATMs as well. Any outlet you enter, to withdraw money, there are atleast 10 people in queue. And this is an ALL DAY situation.
When I joined work, I had applied for 2 credit cards. One was Standard Chartered and the other one was ICICI. ICICI went over the board and even promised to give a photo card. Standard Chartered did not do all that. They just promised a simple and value creating card. And they lived up to that. The card reached me in less than 2 weeks of my application - without much hassle. No too many phone calls asking for this photocopy and that verfication. In fact, I had provided the least amount of documentation to these guys and their service was excellent.
Coming to the Indian outfit - ICICI. I applied to the card and from then on, there was no response. After about 15 days of application, I tried calling them. Firt thing I find out - one of the guys who collected my application form has resigned and the other has no connection with the Credit Card team. So, they still havent filed my applciation. No action has been done for 15 days. I sent out a stinker to their manager and then things get in progress. Their executive calls me frantically and then asks for some details, along with proofs. With reluctance, I gave them the documents they asked for. Then is another period of silence. No action for 10 days and then I get a call from a representative, telling me that the application has been filed and it would take 45 days for whole process to get over.
I thought - What the F*** is going on? It takes a bank 10 days to generate a credit card application number and another 45 days to send that card to me! Totally insane.
Who is that Senior Vice President who made such horrible Service Level Agreements? 30 days to verify a person's details and 15 days to generate a credit card number and mail it across to the applicant. I havent seen this happen with any other bank I have ever dealt with.
ICICI boasts that they have 7,000,000 credit card customers and they are still growing. Whats the point.
When Citibank was here, they told us that they dont want to be a JUST ANOTHER BANK. Now I can totally understand that. For Citi, they dont want to service any tom, dick and harry in India. They want to service only premium customers. So they are not even bothered if their customer base doesnt grow at even half the rate at which ICICIs grows. But ICICI wants to just spread like fire and do nothing. They dont want to keep the set of customers who would never default on their card payment, rather they are more worried about getting their sales target.
Well, this is my experience. Maybe you got your card faster. ICICIs poor service level extends to their ATMs as well. Any outlet you enter, to withdraw money, there are atleast 10 people in queue. And this is an ALL DAY situation.
Friday, August 24, 2007
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Why PDA?
Nowadays its almost becoming like the next best thing to do on the road. Before, it was just there in the film or maybe the SITCOM - the hero used to run around the trees hand in hand with his woman. Then came coffee shops, temples, book stores, the library, and many other public places. Oh yes, how can we forget the beach. And now we see all of it around us.
Today if you take a walk around the most visited public places in Chennai, you can hear noises that you'd usually hear inside the bedroom rather within the four walls of any place where you'd find some privacy. Sometimes you'll also get to see more. If you walked along the beach, you'd find people engaged in a lust filled activity. And perhaps this is not just with Chennai, it might be true with every city that is trying so hard and fast to be on the track of becoming a Metro.
This was the topic of yesterday's discussion on TV - whether we should allow such things or should we try and stop this?
Our country is going through a phase of transition where we have been questioning the certainities of the past with the happenings of the present. Our's is a place where a guy walks into an Infosys or a Wipro and calls his CEO by first name but does not do anything of that sort to his elders when he is at home. The indian mindset is one place where you will find a bluetooth dongle and a religious pendant co-existing in the 21st century. So, for a fact, we know that we are one of the most self-adjusted species in the world. Given that, should we allow Public Display of Affection (PDA)?
People argue that its me and my partner. How does it bother you? Well the point is that we have never lived like that in this country. We dont live in India like how I lived in London for 2 yrs. My neighbors didnt even smile at me in those 2 years and it was NOT because of me! There, most people live just for themselves. They call it their SPACE. Whatever, perhaps such societies were more outward and were not bound by rules of religion or anything in those lines. But even in a place like London, there are restrictions. Once when walking into the train station, I saw two people making out big timein one of the building corners. Quite soon, the police came around and asked them to leave.
So there is definitely a limit everywhere and with things like this, we cannot afford to create a law or draw a line telling what we can do in public and what we cannot. It is a personal choice.
The fact is ours is still a free land. People can do what they want as long as it does not affect the general life of a person. Kissing and hugging someone on the road obviously does not affect a third person on the bike. The only thing that could happen is he might get distracted and bump into the next vehicle on the front. And we cannot say that people should mind their own business. After all you are in a public place and respecting certain untold values that our society cherishes, we should keep ourselves in control of what we do. The only question is - would you do that in front of your family or friends. Not quite, right! So there is the answer.
Today if you take a walk around the most visited public places in Chennai, you can hear noises that you'd usually hear inside the bedroom rather within the four walls of any place where you'd find some privacy. Sometimes you'll also get to see more. If you walked along the beach, you'd find people engaged in a lust filled activity. And perhaps this is not just with Chennai, it might be true with every city that is trying so hard and fast to be on the track of becoming a Metro.
This was the topic of yesterday's discussion on TV - whether we should allow such things or should we try and stop this?
Our country is going through a phase of transition where we have been questioning the certainities of the past with the happenings of the present. Our's is a place where a guy walks into an Infosys or a Wipro and calls his CEO by first name but does not do anything of that sort to his elders when he is at home. The indian mindset is one place where you will find a bluetooth dongle and a religious pendant co-existing in the 21st century. So, for a fact, we know that we are one of the most self-adjusted species in the world. Given that, should we allow Public Display of Affection (PDA)?
People argue that its me and my partner. How does it bother you? Well the point is that we have never lived like that in this country. We dont live in India like how I lived in London for 2 yrs. My neighbors didnt even smile at me in those 2 years and it was NOT because of me! There, most people live just for themselves. They call it their SPACE. Whatever, perhaps such societies were more outward and were not bound by rules of religion or anything in those lines. But even in a place like London, there are restrictions. Once when walking into the train station, I saw two people making out big timein one of the building corners. Quite soon, the police came around and asked them to leave.
So there is definitely a limit everywhere and with things like this, we cannot afford to create a law or draw a line telling what we can do in public and what we cannot. It is a personal choice.
The fact is ours is still a free land. People can do what they want as long as it does not affect the general life of a person. Kissing and hugging someone on the road obviously does not affect a third person on the bike. The only thing that could happen is he might get distracted and bump into the next vehicle on the front. And we cannot say that people should mind their own business. After all you are in a public place and respecting certain untold values that our society cherishes, we should keep ourselves in control of what we do. The only question is - would you do that in front of your family or friends. Not quite, right! So there is the answer.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
SuperStar Rajnikant
Top Rajnikant Facts Published (thanks to an ISB Friend)
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Rajnikant has allowed to live.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Rajnikant.
Rajnikant counted to infinity - twice.
When Rajnikant does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down. (God help me.. i cant take this anymore)
Rajnikant is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Rajnikant doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is. (LOL)
Rajnikant gave Mona Lisa that smile.
Rajnikant can slam a revolving door.
There are no races, only countries of people Rajnikant has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
Rajnikant's house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
Rajnikant can divide by zero.
Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Rajnikant turnaround kick.
When taking the GRE, write "Rajnikant" for every answer. You will score over 1600.
Rajnikant has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.
Rajnikant grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
Archeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Rajnikant"
If you Google search "Rajnikant getting kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
Rajnikant can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds.
Rajnikant doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
It takes Rajnikant 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajnikant kicked one of the corners off.
There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Rajnikant lives in Chennai.
Rajnikant once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
James Cameron wanted Rajnikant to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Thousands of years ago Rajnikant came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decedents now have white hair.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Rajnikant has allowed to live.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Rajnikant.
Rajnikant counted to infinity - twice.
When Rajnikant does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down. (God help me.. i cant take this anymore)
Rajnikant is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Rajnikant doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is. (LOL)
Rajnikant gave Mona Lisa that smile.
Rajnikant can slam a revolving door.
There are no races, only countries of people Rajnikant has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
Rajnikant's house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
Rajnikant can divide by zero.
Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Rajnikant turnaround kick.
When taking the GRE, write "Rajnikant" for every answer. You will score over 1600.
Rajnikant has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.
Rajnikant grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
Archeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Rajnikant"
If you Google search "Rajnikant getting kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
Rajnikant can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds.
Rajnikant doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
It takes Rajnikant 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajnikant kicked one of the corners off.
There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Rajnikant lives in Chennai.
Rajnikant once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
James Cameron wanted Rajnikant to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Thousands of years ago Rajnikant came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decedents now have white hair.
Friday, August 10, 2007
60 yrs of independence
As we get closer to 60 yrs of independence, I just get reminded of how it was when it was 50 yrs of independence. Exactly 10 years back!!
I'd joined Pilani. Life in general was totally different from what it is now. See how technology has evolved! The comforts that we have wasnt anywhere close then. Emails - I didnt even know what an email was in 1997. How it worked, how do i email, was all something new for me. In fact, I was acting like how my dad does today - try and be away from technology and not accept the advantages it has. Still hold by your traditional methods and claim that its still better - in some ways yes it is. Not in speed of delivery. In 1997, letters still took a big portion of my communication gateway. I wrote letters to friends and family, sent them greeting cards. The whole idea of planning postal deliveries in advance was all kept in mind. The email in Pilani was running on something called PINE. I struggled and learnt how to write my first email and how to send it to the guy sitting next to me. As time passed, people got themselves adapted to the email culture and the letter became almost obsolete. Again a type of disruptive technology. From then on, the whole product cycle of the letter has been coming to the Decline Stage.
The other thing was the Telephone. People used to stand in queues in hostels to receive phone calls from parents. Every minute wasted in holding the line for someone to come and talk to their parent was repented and complained about. Weekend queues in our own C'NOT was filled with students trying to call their parents and friends. The words that I can never forget are - "All lines in this route are busy". But now, we have mobile handsets. Another disruption. I wonder what happened to so many STD shops around the campus. I guess they have started selling pre-paid cards and mobile connections. The way a technology changes the lifestyle of a society is so evident in a place like pilani.
Next comes DOPY - department of photogrpahy. One department that used to take all photographs during the festivals in pilani. all we need to do is get ourselves clicked and order the photos through our room numbers. student volunteers in DOPY used to hang around with hifi SLRs and take photos. a private photo studio had a contract to develop photos and deliver them to our rooms. now we have Digital Cameras!!! we take our photos and send them to everyone through email. so what happened to DOPY? It used to be such a favorite department for photography enthusiasts. For others like us, the attraction was that some of the good women on campus used to be in DOPY and they used to get photographs of us. Now people must be devoid of such small pleasures.
When technology brings some tangible benefits into your life, it also takes so much out of your life. You understand that only when you look back.
I'd joined Pilani. Life in general was totally different from what it is now. See how technology has evolved! The comforts that we have wasnt anywhere close then. Emails - I didnt even know what an email was in 1997. How it worked, how do i email, was all something new for me. In fact, I was acting like how my dad does today - try and be away from technology and not accept the advantages it has. Still hold by your traditional methods and claim that its still better - in some ways yes it is. Not in speed of delivery. In 1997, letters still took a big portion of my communication gateway. I wrote letters to friends and family, sent them greeting cards. The whole idea of planning postal deliveries in advance was all kept in mind. The email in Pilani was running on something called PINE. I struggled and learnt how to write my first email and how to send it to the guy sitting next to me. As time passed, people got themselves adapted to the email culture and the letter became almost obsolete. Again a type of disruptive technology. From then on, the whole product cycle of the letter has been coming to the Decline Stage.
The other thing was the Telephone. People used to stand in queues in hostels to receive phone calls from parents. Every minute wasted in holding the line for someone to come and talk to their parent was repented and complained about. Weekend queues in our own C'NOT was filled with students trying to call their parents and friends. The words that I can never forget are - "All lines in this route are busy". But now, we have mobile handsets. Another disruption. I wonder what happened to so many STD shops around the campus. I guess they have started selling pre-paid cards and mobile connections. The way a technology changes the lifestyle of a society is so evident in a place like pilani.
Next comes DOPY - department of photogrpahy. One department that used to take all photographs during the festivals in pilani. all we need to do is get ourselves clicked and order the photos through our room numbers. student volunteers in DOPY used to hang around with hifi SLRs and take photos. a private photo studio had a contract to develop photos and deliver them to our rooms. now we have Digital Cameras!!! we take our photos and send them to everyone through email. so what happened to DOPY? It used to be such a favorite department for photography enthusiasts. For others like us, the attraction was that some of the good women on campus used to be in DOPY and they used to get photographs of us. Now people must be devoid of such small pleasures.
When technology brings some tangible benefits into your life, it also takes so much out of your life. You understand that only when you look back.
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
Merciless People
I was born, insignificant to this world. Many came into this world like me, in fact, some, with me as well. We didnt know what this world had for us, neither our parents did. They obeyed their masters and followed them wherever they were. Life wasnt subject to torture and pain, but was perhaps at the mercy of a few. With a meek understanding of everything around me I started growing up. I played with my friends without knowing day or night. Our dreams were restricted to smaller pastures among concrete jungles. Sometimes even those areas were fenced. And the focus shifted to mass dumping grounds. A few years passed. I grew. I grew without knowing what was happening around me. Suddenly one day - mommy was gone. I dont know what happened. Its not that I distinctly know how mommy looks like but she was there for me at least for sometime and then I almost felt like I was left to be by my own.
Then one day, a fierce looking creature arrived. Although it has a close resemblance to how the masters were, it still looked dangerous. Within a few minutes, it caught hold of some of us, dumped us on a mini-van and drove. We were separated. Separated from what was our small world - it wasnt a paradise, but we felt safe when we were there. We are taken to another place and the future wasnt clear. I cried, but no one would listen. I tried to break free from the clutches, but I could not. Even if I did, where would I go? I was feeling lost. Wherever I'd go, I'd probably be caught and brought back again. Suddenly......
That was it. It was a horrible sight. Seeing an animal getting slaughtered. I didnt see it directly but I could feel that within me. There were cries before the small thing was brought to the insides of the meat shop. If the creature had a sense of what was happening, then it would have known that death was closer. If it was own when the guy was getting it into the truck, then imagine. What if someone caught hold of you in the morning, dumped you onto a truck and told you that you will be dead in few hours. Its the same feeling. Just not expressed. Knowing exactly when you will be dead is perhaps the worst thing you want to know in your life. At least God has been great enough not to give these speechless creatures that sense. But isnt there a better way to do this? Use an anaesthetic or something.
Then one day, a fierce looking creature arrived. Although it has a close resemblance to how the masters were, it still looked dangerous. Within a few minutes, it caught hold of some of us, dumped us on a mini-van and drove. We were separated. Separated from what was our small world - it wasnt a paradise, but we felt safe when we were there. We are taken to another place and the future wasnt clear. I cried, but no one would listen. I tried to break free from the clutches, but I could not. Even if I did, where would I go? I was feeling lost. Wherever I'd go, I'd probably be caught and brought back again. Suddenly......
That was it. It was a horrible sight. Seeing an animal getting slaughtered. I didnt see it directly but I could feel that within me. There were cries before the small thing was brought to the insides of the meat shop. If the creature had a sense of what was happening, then it would have known that death was closer. If it was own when the guy was getting it into the truck, then imagine. What if someone caught hold of you in the morning, dumped you onto a truck and told you that you will be dead in few hours. Its the same feeling. Just not expressed. Knowing exactly when you will be dead is perhaps the worst thing you want to know in your life. At least God has been great enough not to give these speechless creatures that sense. But isnt there a better way to do this? Use an anaesthetic or something.
Friday, August 03, 2007
Gender Genie
I came across this new thing called the Gender Genie - a website that tells with 80% accuracy whether an article was written by a man or a woman. In fact, I wanted to test it and I tried my last post on it. The result was - the male score dominated the female score by more than 100%. the algorithm is based on the fact that men and women can be categorised under certain styles of using words. women use more personal pronouns whereas men are inclined towards using words that quantify nouns. in fact the whole paper is available on the website.
at work - we have a local version of Toastmasters. There is a meeting every fortnight, late afternoon, and people are invited to talk on prepared topics. there are table topics as well. anyway, i had the chance to attend one. with great expectations i walked into the hall and i found less than 5 people in the audience. out of 5000 plus people in the office, there are just 5 who want to test or work on their communication skills. i wonder if so many are busy with work. im quite sure that its not the case. just that they are too lazy to move their butt from the seat they have been warming for the whole day.
at this juncture, i must also tell you that generally, the communication level inside the organization is extremely poor. people know to code well. they might even enter the limca book of records for maybe coding so many thousand lines in a day but they are extremely bad at writing even two lines for an email. most of the english that people write is verbatim of what they talk over the phone or to their friends. i mean - the thought just falls into words. it doesnt get any flavor of grammar. and i dont understand why people are not bothered. is this a lack of interest from within? i do see organizational initiatives once in a while, but i have a general feeling that in all this struggle, the aim is just to make sure that ends meet ( i mean, to make sure that business happens. like we had this concept called JIT - Just In Time and later when I was doing in-plant training with a renowned manufacturing firm, the production manager told me that there was new term called SHIT - SomeHow In Time).
Food for thought - George Orwell listed four writers' motives: sheer egotism, aesthetic enthusiasm, historical impulse (the desire to record things as they are, for posterity) and political purpose (the desire to push the world in a certain direction).
at work - we have a local version of Toastmasters. There is a meeting every fortnight, late afternoon, and people are invited to talk on prepared topics. there are table topics as well. anyway, i had the chance to attend one. with great expectations i walked into the hall and i found less than 5 people in the audience. out of 5000 plus people in the office, there are just 5 who want to test or work on their communication skills. i wonder if so many are busy with work. im quite sure that its not the case. just that they are too lazy to move their butt from the seat they have been warming for the whole day.
at this juncture, i must also tell you that generally, the communication level inside the organization is extremely poor. people know to code well. they might even enter the limca book of records for maybe coding so many thousand lines in a day but they are extremely bad at writing even two lines for an email. most of the english that people write is verbatim of what they talk over the phone or to their friends. i mean - the thought just falls into words. it doesnt get any flavor of grammar. and i dont understand why people are not bothered. is this a lack of interest from within? i do see organizational initiatives once in a while, but i have a general feeling that in all this struggle, the aim is just to make sure that ends meet ( i mean, to make sure that business happens. like we had this concept called JIT - Just In Time and later when I was doing in-plant training with a renowned manufacturing firm, the production manager told me that there was new term called SHIT - SomeHow In Time).
Food for thought - George Orwell listed four writers' motives: sheer egotism, aesthetic enthusiasm, historical impulse (the desire to record things as they are, for posterity) and political purpose (the desire to push the world in a certain direction).
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