The Intern

Recently, I saw the movie THE INTERN. It was fantastic. The basic storyline is about how the young entrepreneurs of the digital economy need to appreciate the wisdom that comes from moving along with people from the manufacturing economy.

Anne Hathaway and Robert De Niro play these roles with ease and are a pleasure to watch.

The point of my post is looking at Jules' personal life in the movie. Jules works in a high pressure environment. She has no time for her daughter and husband. She is swamped with work 24x7, taking calls at odd times and replying to emails at 2am. The husband, who was also very successful at a point, decided to take a step back and be a house-husband. He cares for the daughter, drops her at school and runs all errands around the house.

There comes a point in the movie where Jules' management capabilities are questioned and she is asked by her investors to find a new CEO. She does give in at some point and decides to appoint a new CEO. Very soon, the husband is shown as cheating on her with another woman. Then, Jules decides that she should definitely step back on her job and focus more on the family before its too late.

I know that the director had no choice but to introduce a scene like that to bring the movie to a close but it was so wrong. On one side, we have all these people complaining that women don't get the opportunities to grow in a male dominated corporate world. On the other side, we are shown these rubbish movie examples where a man is cheating. Seriously What The F!

People! Men aren't the only human beings who cheat! Women do it too. I wonder if there are popular movies where women cheat and the men get to find out. But then, you'll have to show men as vulnerable characters. A popular relationship researcher once said in her speech "people choose to leave a relationship these days only because they could be happier in another relationship". And this applies equally to both sexes.

When I take a step back in my career, I don't do it because I am not ambitious. I do it because I like to be supportive to someone who is slightly more ambitious than I am. That doesn't mean that I like to spend my late afternoons cheating on my partner with another parent who I met at school.

We complain all the time about not getting the right opportunity or life being unfair. When provided with those opportunities, we don't realise that we are simultaneously being fed with negative thoughts and examples that never lets us realise our dreams.

The Pursuit of Happiness

What makes you happy? Money? Love? New Job? New shoes?

I tried asking that question to myself and I still don't have a definite answer. I mean this at a meta-level. 

At a more day to day level, I am reasonably content (still not sure if I can say happy) about certain things in life - like having a job, having a good day at work (although that doesn't happen more than once a week), an exhausting workout at the box and having access to food and water as a bare minimum for existence.

If I am happy or content at a micro level, can I extrapolate that to my life in general and say that its probably what defines my life and can I just get away with that? Or is it necessary to have larger buckets that you need to fill in and find your happiness there?

Is happiness influenced by knowing whether people around you are happy or not?

My parents are not exactly happy. Atleast that's how they put it. For them happiness is - me not being alone. You know, the usual rants. I need to have a partner, and then kid(s). That's what means happiness to them. But does it really stop there? I mean, then the kids have to grow up and they need to find their footing in this world. Its almost like a vicious circle! A circle into which you will get sucked into.

Is making sure that your lineage is established, a main purpose of your life? Okay let's not go into the purpose of one's life in a lot of detail as that would be like revisiting the whole Bhagavad Gita and discussing karma.

What I find more questionable and unacceptable is trying to put a framework around a person's life and this happens most often in societies from India. You need to get good education. Not just good education but good grades as well. Then you need a good job. At the right time and god only knows what that means - you need to find a partner and then make sure you have kids. Your parents are never happy until all this happens. Some stop there while the others actually go on until your children start their life cycle through the above mentioned route.

What I find hard to understand is why this framework is considered the foundation of happiness by a large faction of the country. Or is it just me? Has the society in general, moved on?

I've had enough trouble in my life that nowadays doing nothing seems to be the most ideal thing. Having no agenda is my agenda.