To plan or not?

In 2006, when I moved to India, I had a plan. I wanted to live and work in India. I could say that it wasn't the best decision because my other option was Switzerland but my job at the point sort of sucked. So, coming to India was my way of escaping from my job.

In 2012, when I arrived in Australia, I really didn't have a plan. I went with the flow. And when things happened, I made a plan to stick around for a bit. But I don't think I want to live here permanently.

I met a girl online recently. She lives in India (city doesn't matter). She works as a corporate lawyer. We started chatting. It took some effort. This chatting business is pathetic. Long distance kinda sucks because you are just waiting for someone to reply and you just don't know what they are thinking about. All you get to see is what they type. Their expression or tone is unknown (which makes it a lot scary). And emojis are a pain in the ass. I have no fucking idea what each one of that means.

So we exchanged a few messages. I wasn't trying to break the ice. I was just taking a Kalashnikov and shooting into the ice. Totally honest and open answers. 

One of main points of discussion was around where I wanted to be. I have always maintained that I want to go back to India and live there. Australia is great but I don't see myself living here permanently. My social life here revolves only around crossfit and I think that will destroy me after a point (not crossfit but just the fact that I have friends who do crossfit and the social circle ends there).

So this girl was like - how can you not be certain about what you want to do? I am like, why should I be certain? I have the education, experience and confidence to do what I want in my life. I am not worried about taking any risk or being jobless. Yes this was the case before, but life "has" taught me a lesson. Today, I want to experiment going back to India and see what I can do. If things don't work out as planned, then I'd like to come back to Australia (its a backup). And she was like - this is an arranged marriage situation and my parents are not comfortable with all this uncertainty. At that point, I couldn't do much. So I said - good luck with your search.

What baffles me is why people still look for assurances in life. There is no guarantee for anything! I could lose my job tomorrow. I could have a job in India, relocate and then lose my job. Shit happens. Why are people so hung up on a steady life? I wanted a steady life back in 2012 and these days, thats the last thing I want.

My plan is "not to have a plan". I had a plan in 2012 or around that time frame. To settle down with a good job, buy a house, have a family etc. All that went down the pooper. So now, I am going to take life as it comes. Just for a few years.

I understand where some of these women are coming from. They want to know if the man they choose, can support them and the future family etc etc. Also the fact that some of these women have had a terrible experience (thanks to a previous marriage that ruined their life in one way or the other). 

So listen you corporate lawyer woman - you've gotta grow up. You've got to let go of your insecurities a bit. You cannot ask for an opportunity to step into the corporate ladder, break that glass ceiling and also say that men are ultimately responsible to take care of you. Yes, when you are on mat-leave, I can take care of you. Sometimes, I think that I need a break from all the work. Maybe you should take care of me, for a few years, while I figure out a new job or decide what I want to do.